Everybody Happy Time Explosion!!! Dance Real Good Now Yay!!!!

Hello again to all. You, over there across the series of tubes often times called the interwebs, are here for some quality time wasting, jaw dropping, bowel releasing entertainment that only the folks at Shirtless O Clock can bring you. Well, wait no longer because I will be dropping some seriously big, steaming posts for you all to consume at your liking. This time around I will be doing more than just talking about the ever important world of me and the five foot radius around me. I will also be writing about some serious, life affecting, global, political, and socio-economic issues that will, I am sure, affect you all greatly. When all is said and done you will soon be among the converted, and you will be erecting shrines to those glorious golden gods whom you may call Shirtless.

Here are a few of the topics that I may or may not being covering soon.

COMING SOON (Maybe)

• You all know of the ubiquitous spork (aka foon), but do you know about the newest craze in merging common utensils into a less efficient version of either one? That's right, I'm talking about the spife (otherwise known as the knoon) . The spife is the creation of a Swedish inventor, Yan Ouchenmeyer, and is the product of over 15 years of research and testing. Yan came upon the idea one day when he was trying to eat some particularly thick stew, and realized that he could add a razor sharp serrated edge to the outer rim of the spoon. Seventeen hospital visits later, Yan had finally perfected his spife, and he released it into the Swedish market to tremendous success. In my upcoming post I will discuss the political importance of the spife, as well as other upcoming appliance innovations including the wooden knife, the cheese grater/toenail file, and the smoke alarm/white noise machine!
• Remember the Thermo-chemical Principles of Dan? Well, from the guy who brought you those (me) comes a bunch of other sciency sounding things that I have no business getting involved in. I'll try my hand at reasons that evolution chose certain features in nature over others. For instance, what I like to call the cute-and-fuzzy principal of survival. I will also try to discover the missing link. I think it looks something like this.

There is no telling how good this blog can get, so make sure to keep tuned and tell your friends. And if you have no friends, then you are a sad, sad person, and I don't ever want to meet you, so please stop reading this you waste of humanity, and go out and get a job. You're always just sitting on the couch, eating Taco Bell and playing those damn video games! Why can't you be more like your brother, David. He's only 25, and already he's going to be a doctor, and a lawyer, and look at you, you fat putz! What kind of son are you anyways? You think you help me around the house a little more, at least? (Whoa, sorry, lost my train of thought there)

In the words of my hero, "Seacrest out!"

-SOC (shirtless o' clock)