Continuing with my promise of providing you with quality time-wasting things to read, and since I have so much free time here while I work the night shift at ARC, I will fill you all in on my day as it happens. Enjoy (this is kind of long)

Monday Morning at the Computer Lab
12:00 AM- I arrive, and realize that my shift doesn't start until 12:30. Oh well, I guess now I'm here for 8 1/2 hours. Thanks Alex.

12:30 AM- I officially log in and start doing all of my computer lab duties, like... wait, did I tell you that I logged in already, ok, what else. I, uh, got a clipboard and pen and a sheet that I log the number of questions that I'm asked. Oh, and most importantly I'm logged onto AIM.

1:30 AM- This isn't so bad, I have 8 IM windows open, and am talking to anyone who will respond to me. Dan and Tova even stop by, and we talk, we look at the bomb threat checklist, and I decide to check off that the person who called in the bomb threat had a menacing tone, and used mediocre to good language. I think there was also dog barking in the backround, or maybe it was a factory noise. There are just too many good choices on this checklist. Hmm, maybe the voice sounded intoxicated. Better check it off just in case.

1:45 AM - Dan and Tova leave because I am just getting too busy. I mean its hard to have 4 IM conversations going, and be looking at facebook, and be talking to them at the same time. I have to prioritize. Man, this is looking pretty good so far. I can totally do this.

1:47 AM - Dan passes by the door, waving, and Tova follows, twirling behind him. Maybe I'm starting to lose it already.

2:00 AM - It's getting late in the real world, and people are starting to go to sleep, leaving me to my lonesome self. Now I have to step up the Facebook watching, and maybe even break out some of that homework I brought. Nah, plenty of time for that. Maybe I'll make a Shirtless O'Clock post.

2:30 AM - Starting to lose it a bit, and I have so much more to go. I admire my spiffy new purple hair in the mirror a few times (oh man, the ladies are going to love me now). Swiping people in and organizing cards is actually kinda fun now. What the hell is wrong with me?

3:30 AM - It's pretty damn late now, and I'm feeling giddy. I'm starting to think of the consequences of my decision to take this shift, and I asess the situation. Hehe, I just said ass. There is no one left on IM that I want to talk to. Admire purple hair agian. Still there. Check computer lab. Still there. Check unopened homework book sitting in front of me. Still there.

4:30 AM - Down to the lowest of the low of things to keep me amused, checking away messages. Wow, there are so many ways for people to say that there going to sleep, and so many people who put up lyrics or poems. Oooh, there's even one thats a poem about going to sleep. Now that is clever.

5:30 AM - I can barely see straight at this point. Why the hell are there still people here? What is wrong with them, don't they have something better to do? Like sleep? Or maybe go for a walk, or something. I feel like going over to them and shaking them as I scream in their face "Stop studying!!! I know you're asian, but that doesn't mean that you have to live up to all the damn stereotypes!!" And the only thing they would do in return is smile widely and flash a peace sign. Oh well. I pull out my ace in the hole, an energy drink, and down it. This should keep me going.

5:45 AM - Oh man, that really worked, now if only I had some kind of outlet for all of this energy. Maybe I'll do laps around the consultant desk. Or maybe I'll bench press one of the people in the computer lab, I could totally bench one of the tiny asian girls.

6:30 AM - Crashing... from... caffiene high. So tired now. I shuffle the computer tag cards, and start playing a game that even I don't know the rules to. I look around at the 4 people still in the lab, 2 on one side, on the other. Maybe I could start a war between the two. I could tell one side that the other side said their momma was fat, tell the other side that the first side said they were poopy heads. Oh, I am so clever. I definitely do have my best ideas when I'm completely sleep deprived.

7:30 AM - Dear God, I'm so close! But I haven't done any homework yet. I open the book and stare at the first word on the page. I continue to stare at that word. It is a good word, and it deserves a closer look, I think. "The". That is such an awesome word. Think of where we would be without it. I wonder who invented it? That guy is probably super rich, unless someone stole his idea from him and reaped all the profits. Damn, I feel sorry for that guy, he was such a visionary and now he's going to die alone and penniless. Wait, what was I talking about again?

8:00 AM - The last half hour went so slowly it was painful. I thinkI'm dying. Can you get cancer from lack of sleep? I'll have to look into that. The sheet in front of me where I log questions is completely empty? Wait, should I have recorded when the guy said "Whats up" ? That's a question, right?

8:15 AM - So close I can taste it. And it tastes like oily meatballs from the dining hall still on my tongue, mixed with the bitter aftertaste of my energy drink. Man, freedom doesn't really taste so good now. I think I have left a facebook message on the wall of every friend, but oddly enough, no one has responded to them yet. Next time I think I'll bring a non-textbook to read.

8:30 AM - I'm dizzy and completely unaware of where I am, but I made it. I sign out and walk out of the computer lab, triumphantly opening the front door to arc and stepping through. No, that was a closet. I leave the closet and this time walk out the real front door. I hobble back like a drunkard towards the suites and swipe my card in the door. It doesn't open. It takes me a moment to reaize that I don't live in the suites anymore. Yeah, I was just checking. I go back to my real dorm and fall onto my bed. Now I can get 2 hours of wondorous sleep before my shift at the help desk. Hooray!!!!!!

Trumpets play fanfare as streamers and confetti fall from nowhere, and a crowd of gathering onlookers stare up at the top of the mighty monolith that is "Shirtless O'Clock" as an proclamation is shouted to be heard throughout the land

"Loyal followers of Shirtless O'Clock (and you must be if you're still checking this website after four months of but a few posts), fear not, for the shallow existence of your lives, now hollow and empty without the constant stream of pure gold flowing from Shirtless O'Clock into your dorm room, will be complete again as we will soon be restored to the former glory of the time we like to call "The Golden Age." We had to take a break over then summer to earn our fortunes, and climb the highest mountains of the northern hemisphere with nothing but a banana and a copy of Chaucer's Troilus and Cressida. But the summer has come and gone, and although we lost the valiant White Nick to ravaging beasts while on our way down from a mountain the natives call "Mount Organic Chemistry", he is still with us in spirit, and now even has his own account on this blog, so he can posthumously keep us up to date on his going ons."

"I will not make a real post now, my children, because no one will likely read this for many moons and seasons (maybe a week or two), and I will have to use my divine influence to get the lazy behinds of the rest of this site's memebers to update as well (i.e. constant nagging). But fear not, for the unstoppable force that is shirtless O'Clock will soon be back, and mightier than ever. Which is pretty damn mighty"