OH IT'S THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH! AND I GOT A BITCH WIT ME!! (threw that in for veens)
ALRIGHT EVERYONE.... IT'S NO NEW NEWS THAT SEVERAL OF OUR MERRY GANG, MYSELF INCLUDED, WILL NOT BE JOINING IN ON THE RUTGERS FUN NEXT YEAR. Indeed this is quite a tragedy: one that, although we shall indeed overcome, is a terrible setback. However, we must try not to mourn those whom we've lost... instead, let us try to help those with futures... those who have stayed in (their original) (four year) (respected) school. While we certainly DO NOT wish to "replace" the lost, i feel that, for the strength of the group, they (we) must be remembered. As such, i propose a solution. While we won't be there in person, i suggest that the remaining members of the group actively search for suitable replacements, or, as ASIAN would say.... dopplegangers. BUT, WHITE NICK... HOW CAN WE DO THAT?!?!?! easy, ravi... easy... AN APPLICATION QUESTIONAIRE!! and so! without further ado! here it is! (feel free to add!) (oh and while i'm at it, i'm just gonna make one for everyone)... (oh and this idea stemmed from a conversation alex and i had... gotta give mad props where da mad props is due)...

GOTTA START WITH ROMAN CAUSE I HAVE THE MOST STUFF FOR HIM:

- have you ever free-balled it?.. ... .. for a week?
- have you ever made brownies for your girlfriend, making sure to grease the pan?.... ... with two day old takeout grease?
-do you own a towel?
-have you ever bled on your bed sheet? ... ... and not cleaned it? ... and continued to use it? .. .... as a towel?
-have you ever worn your girlfriends shorts?... .... as boxers?.... and then returned them?...... without washing them?
-are you accustomed to leaving takeout trays on your desk? ... for weeks?.... **four weeks?
-will you father a manatee? ... .. a duck?... ... torpedo?


ASIAN

-can you make your way across the room? ..... in the air?.... ... propelled only by a fart?
-can you fart? ... .. to a rhythm?
-do you have tits?
-can you make them bounce?
-will you make them bounce?
-please make them bounce...
-can you be the most hated/loved smasher in the dorm?
-do you listen to the backstreet boys? .. .... ... at 3am?
-will you blast smooth R&B?. ... ... while your suitemate is making out with his girlfriend?
-will you try to barricade matt from coming in to use your computer?
-will you call these barricades "matt-sticles"?


RAVI (AKA "NUMBERS")

-will you be rich before you graduate?
-fuck you ravi
-will you have a facebook group devoted to your demise?
-will you be the only person in rutgers history to check out "THE THEORIES OF ANALYTICAL ACCOUNTING AS DISCUSSED BY THE PHOENICIANS OF THE LATE BABALONIAN WITH RESPECT TO THE DEMISE OF THE EARLY GRECO PERIOD OF THE BARTER SYSTEM" from the library?
-damn it, ravi...
-will you give me a well paying cushiony job when i'm floundering through my adulthood?
-i can wash toilets... i'm not above that...
-mother fucker... ...
-will you own and wear a gangster hat?
-will you wrestle alex?
-WILL YOU BE REALLY... REALLY... HONESTLY.. .OH MAN... HAIRY AS HELL?
-down with ravi


DAN "THE WASS" WASSINGTON

-will you grow a beard faster than matt's mom can suck justin's cock?
-will you be our "that guy"?
-will you sit in your room while we have a conversation in the living room... occasionally contributing without ever showing you face?
-what's with the beard?
-will you pull off the "hippie look" better than anybody i've ever known?
-will you suck dick at that computer game with the space ships and the army controlling and the other stuff?
-will you suck dick at rome: total war?
-will you suck dick? (who didn't see that coming?)


VEENS

-do you like trees?
-will you climb them?
-will you stay in them for hours? ... while throwing fruit?... .... at people?... ... people you don't know?
-can you grow a perfect pirate gotee? (i don't know how to spell that)
-why the hell didn't you keep that thing?
-will you ever ask out a girl?
-will you organize your room so that you'll never actually have to leave your bed? ... .. for anything... ANYTHING....
-will you have 85 healing items at the end of resident evil?... .. and still refuse to use them?... as well as all of those treasures?


MIKE

-will you have a ukranian name that i'll never actually be able to pronounce correctly?
-will you let me find out from somebody else that i've been pronouncing your name incorrectly this whole time?
-will you fix my computer before i actually knew something was wrong with it?
-will you type this sentence faster than it took to think of it?
-will you look half asleep? ... ... at all times?
-will you, no matter what the circumstance, always speak with the same, calm inflection
-mike i think i have a viru... oh you already fixed it?... ok nevermind... thanks...
-will you know twice as much about women as the rest of this group put together?


ALEX

-oh man i've been looking forward to this one...
-seriously... lol... god i don't even know where to start...
-HERE'S ONE...
-will you shout out "## **** *** ***** SHOT!!" in a public place? lmao...
-will you be the most socially awkward person in the dorm? lmao...
-you are fucking hilarious, man... seriously...
-lmao
-lol seriously i'm still laughing
-will you be responsible for half of the hilarious quotes/stories this dorm has?
-will you jerk off while playing resident evil for 4 days straight?... "leon is shooting zombies while i'm shooting... well... mostly blanks at that point"... hahahaha that's just an alex quote, don't worry sherlyn, it's not a true story...
-will you be so greek you sweat baklavah?



AND THAT'S IT FOLKS... THAT'S ALL I HAVE TIME FOR TONIGHT... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ON!!!... BE SURE TO, OBVIOUSLY, INCLUDE THE NAME OF THE PERSON TO BE REPLACED.