People Don't Read Good

One thing I have learned from these posts and this blog is that people don't like to read stuff. As it is, if you are looking at this right now, you're probably very tempted to just look a bit lower on the page at the pictures, and skip all this pointless text. Well, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you, but if you keep reading you'll learn something that could change your life instantly! Oh, who am I kidding, here's a picture of a puppy.

So effective

So I have your attention now, right? Of course, because according to this graph, there is a correlation between the number of pictures in Shirtless O'Clock posts and the average time a reader enjoys each post (in milliseconds).

Graphs are never wrong. Never

So now to the point of this post. A shocking announcement was made today that sent ripples through the Rutgers community, and caused riots on the Livingston campus that claimed the lives of 934 students. Akon will no longer be playing at Rutgers fest!! Instead of the brilliant musical stylings of whatever genre of music he is, we get the crapfest that is Genuine. I hope you will all join me at a protest this Saturday, where we will set the Brower Dining Hall on fire again, as we dance and chant "The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire! We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn!" Good times will be had by all.

We will all miss you Akon



Or wait, maybe this is Akon



No? Oh well then, never mind

One last thing before I'm finished here. I was looking at the news today, when I noticed something. The Pope is a really evil looking guy.


I mean, he could easily be the head zombie in House of the Dead 2, and he's definitely a dead ringer of the emperor from Star Wars. Oy Vey! Hopefully no one who reads this is really religious and gets offended, but hey, I have the power to put whatever I want on this page. I can do whatever I want and put my favorite things in the world on here, like this:


Ha, I bet you were expecting Natalie Portman or something,
but look at how cute this puffin is

Or this:

Two Kristen Kreuk's from Smallville need twice the love

Ok, now I'm done. Oh, and for a limited time only, the first 15 people to make a comment on this post will get a free piece of Matzah. So get commenting!