Now I know you're all looking at the picture and saying... ha ha, nice work photoshopping, Dan.

Well the truth is it's not photoshopped, and I'm dating all your moms.

Secretely, I've been pursuing a bodybuilding career for the past few years, and I haven't told any of you because... errr... umm... you'd all be jealous... of... my... err... umm... mini-Greek flag.

Yup, can't be dragging the mother country into all this. Why oh, why do you all have something against the Greeks.

So whenever I say something like, I'm going to Targum, I'm going for food, or I'm going to date one of your moms, I've actually been "pumping" the "irons" on the "benches" at the "sweatshop" to get "jacked."