Chronicles of Dorm(ia) Part III

Now, last, and most certainly least, the final dorm member:

Dan, aka "The Wasser Man"

Not much is known about this shady character. He can sometimes be found stalking about in dark alleyways, looking for quarters that have been dropped by others, but he will only pick up silver coins, he does have standards. He has most recently been seen wearing a dead animal on his head, but can alter his appearance at random. One day he was allegedly mistaken for the unibomber, while the next day he was mistaken for a clean shaven Brad Pitt. (No? ok, what about that that guy from Wedding Crashers. You know, the one that doesn't have that thing wrong with his nose.) Years of listening to loud music have virtually rendered him deaf, so if you approach him, do not sneak up behind him or you will startle him, and he will become violent. He is currently attending Rutgers as part of their prestigious "Undecided" course of studies, and when asked when he would finally get his shit together, he has been quoted saying, "I'll do it later, let me get just 15 more minutes of sleep."